I grew up being called Hairy Bone and Mop. My brothers gave me those nicknames and they were accurate…I was tall, skinny, gangly, with a frizzy head of hair and knobby knees. My mom wouldn’t let me play city soccer because she was worried someone would kick my legs and break them. I looked fragile. I felt fragile. And for a long time, I believed I was.
For years I had a complicated relationship with my body. Not because I hated it exactly…but because I never really felt at home in it. I didn’t trust it to be strong. I didn’t celebrate it for what it could do. I just kind of… existed in it, hoping nobody would notice how awkward it felt.
And then I turned 40. And something shifted.
Body confidence after 40 isn’t about having the perfect body. It isn’t about reaching a certain size or finally loving every single thing you see in the mirror. It’s about something quieter and more powerful than that…it’s about deciding that your body deserves to be taken care of, celebrated, and shown up for every single day. Because when you take care of your body, something remarkable happens: you start to feel at home in it.
In this post I’m sharing what that journey looked like for me and the mindset shifts and habits that finally helped me feel strong, confident, and genuinely grateful for the body I’m living in after 40. This is not a “love yourself” pep talk. This is a real conversation about what body confidence actually takes and why your 40s might be the best decade to finally get there.
The Mindset Shift That Changed Everything for My Body Confidence After 40
Since I’ve been tall and thin my whole life, I figured I didn’t “need” to exercise. I bought into the lie that exercising is for weight loss instead of believing that exercising is good for the mind and body…essential to be healthy!
I dabbled in different forms of exercise my entire life. I played volleyball and did high jump on the track team in high school. I ran a 5k, 10k, and 1/2 marathon, not because I enjoyed it, but because I liked the challenge. When my kids were little, I took them on walks in the stroller, more for a way to get out of the house with a friend than for the purpose of moving my body. I did pilates and yoga because I liked the fact that I didn’t get hot and sweaty and out of breath. Honestly, I always dreaded exercising. I treated it like an item on my to-do list instead of doing it because I knew the value of it.
But as I was nearing 40, something shifted in me. I think I got tired of being tired, not having energy, looking and feeling weak and fragile. I kept hearing that once you hit 40, your body just goes downhill from there. And I didn’t want that to happen to me. I wanted to take matters into my own hands and become a stronger, healthier, better version of myself! I’m stubborn and I wanted to prove them all wrong!
So, I went from not caring about exercising to being fully committed because I was doing it for me. I wasn’t doing it to check off an item on my list. I wasn’t doing it for anyone else but myself. I wanted to have energy, strength, curves. I wanted to finally love my body after decades of just going through the motions. I wanted to look in the mirror and love what I saw looking back at me. I wanted to be proud of my body and what it could instead of being apathetic and letting life happen to me.
Why Taking Care of Your Body Is an Act of Gratitude, Not Vanity
There’s this stigma that caring about how you look is considered vain. Pompous. Egotistical. Prideful. We’re taught that putting makeup on is vain. Investing in good skincare products is vain. Putting on a cute outfit is vain. Exercising to lose weight, have energy, and become stronger is vain. Caring about what you put in your body is vain.
But I don’t believe that. I believe that God gave us a body and it’s our responsibility to take care of it, love it, nurture it, respect it. I like to think of caring for my body as a thank you note to God. By treating it with respect, we’re showing God that we love and appreciate our God-given beauty.
I don’t think wanting to improve your body is a bad thing. You have crooked teeth? It’s ok to get braces. You want to become stronger? It’s ok to lift weights and gain muscle. You don’t feel confident in how your skin is looking and feeling? It’s ok to invest in better skincare to nourish your skin. You have a mole on your face that you feel really self conscious about? It’s ok to remove it. It’s your body. It’s your choice. God put us on earth to improve. To learn. To grow. God knows your heart and your intentions. If something is holding you back from living life confidently, then make changes so you can show up as your best self!
When you feel good, you do good!
From “How Does My Body Look?” to “What Can My Body Do?”
I went from caring about what my body always looked like to now caring about what my body can do. I now have the most energy and strength I’ve ever had in my life! I can lift heavy weights. I can wake surf behind a boat. I can ski down a mountain. I can rock climb and repel. I can play pickleball. I can hike long, steep distances. I’m even training to hike Rim to Rim of the Grand Canyon this year!
Changing my focus from my looks to my strength has been empowering!
What the Bible Says About Your Body — and Why It Matters
In a world that constantly tells women their worth is tied to their size, shape, wrinkles, or appearance, it’s easy to begin believing that confidence comes from looking a certain way. But the Bible paints a very different picture of your body and it’s incredibly empowering.
The Bible teaches that your body is not something to criticize, punish, or constantly compare. It is a gift from God.
Scripture reminds us that we are created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27), meaning there is inherent value in who we are…not because we look perfect, but because we were intentionally created by Him. The Bible also says we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). This is a beautiful reminder that your body was not an accident or mistake, but made for a purpose.
And one of the most powerful perspectives? The Bible teaches that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19–20). That means caring for your body isn’t about vanity…it’s about stewardship. Taking care of your health, nourishing your body, moving it, resting it, and treating it kindly can become an act of gratitude and respect for the body God gave you.
But here’s what I think matters most to remember: Taking care of your body and idolizing your body are not the same thing.
There is a difference between obsessing over appearance and lovingly caring for yourself.
You can:
- exercise because you want strength and energy
- nourish your body with good food and supplements because you value your health
- care for your skin because it helps you feel confident
- wear makeup because it’s fun and creative and enhances your God-given beauty
…without believing your worth depends on any of those things. Because according to Scripture, your value was never tied to a number on a scale or what culture says is beautiful. God looks deeper. As 1 Samuel 16:7 reminds us:
“People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
So if you’ve struggled to feel confident in your body after 40, maybe confidence starts here: Not by striving to become someone else…but by learning to honor, care for, and appreciate the body that has carried you through life…with grace, gratitude, and kindness.
How to Build Body Confidence After 40 — What Actually Helped Me
Once I turned 40, I’ve made a commitment to myself to take better care of my mind, body, and spirit. And I’ve never been happier and had more energy and love for life! Here are some things that have helped me…
1. Started Moving My Body for Strength, Not Size
Instead of trying to gain weight because I was thin, I started focusing on building muscle for strength. My arms were always like a stick and I wanted to finally be able to see muscle! I committed to weight lifting consistently. We have a little garage gym and I would go out there every morning and start lifting. I first started by using the FitBod app. It is a paid subscription but it was worth it for me! And it was cheaper than buying a gym membership. It was really helpful getting me started with what workouts to focus on and how many reps to do. I didn’t want a complicated routine, I just wanted to be told what to do.
The first year, I just got in the habit of showing up for myself. The second year, I put more effort in and focused on increasing the weight I lifted. The third year, I focused more on what I was putting into my body that would work well with my weight lifting to get me better results.
The changes that made the biggest difference in my results were: increasing my weight and the reps, eating more protein, and drinking creatine. You won’t see results if you just dink around and don’t take it seriously.
Here are some of my favorite exercises I like to do:
- Hip Thrusts
- Dumbbell Step
- Glute Bridges
- Goblet Squats
- Sumo Squats
- Walking Lunges
- Wall Sits
- Frog Pumps
- Kickbacks
- Curtsy Lunges
- Bodyweight Squat Pulses
- Arnold Press
- Lateral Raises
- Tricep Dips
- Shoulder Press
- Bicep Curls
- Hammer Curls
- Tricep Overhead Extensions
Once I figured out what workouts I enjoyed, I used Chat GPT to help me create my own personalized workout. There are so many free resources to take advantage of!! There are so many resources online that can help you learn to weight lift and strengthen your body! Go to YouTube and explore or use AI.
You might be wondering, what gym equipment do you use?? I started small and built up as I progressed. We have a small corner in our garage that is dedicated to our garage gym. It has the essentials…nothing fancy. And we’ve added equipment as needed.
2. Started Fueling My Body Better
Since gaining weight was never an issue for me, I could always eat whatever I wanted! And that meant that I ate too many sweets and not enough protein. But after weight lifting consistently for 2 years and not seeing a lot of change, I committed to tracking what I put in my body. And this was a game changer!
I started eating more protein. I focused on eating a gram of protein per pound I weighed. Yes, that’s a lot of protein and yes it makes a difference! I also started taking creatine. I was hesitant to do this because I always thought that creatine was for the body builders. But there are so many benefits!
- Creatine helps build and preserve lean muscle
- Creatine can help with brain fog and mental clarity
- Creatine can support bone health
- Creatine can help provide better recovery and energy
Not only did I start eating more protein and taking creatine, but I stopped eating whatever I wanted. I started focusing on more whole foods and counting my calories so I knew exactly what I was putting into my body. I think it’s so crazy how many people over eat! And the garbage they’re putting in their bodies! When you focus on eating better, more nourishing foods, you will feel so much better!
Here are some supplements that I use daily that help me feel so much better:
- Protein Powder– A lot of protein powders are expensive and taste nasty. This one is yummy and cost effective…win win! I use it on its own, add it into a fruit smoothie, overnight oats, or other recipes. I like the vanilla and chocolate.
- Creatine– I always thought creatine was just for body builders. Nope! It’s excellent for women over 40 too! Here are just a few benefits for us gals: supports muscle strength, improves exercise performance and recovery, supports brain health, helps with bone health, reduces mental fatigue. I love this creatine powder because it’s inexpensive and easy to add into any drink.
- Mixhers Hertime (save 15% with this code: JoEllenW15)- My menstrual cycles used to be all over the place! It drove me crazy! Once I started taking this supplement, I finally had regular cycles and less hormonal symptoms. I can’t live with this!
- I01 Orac + Camu Camu– Did you know that problems with your skin (blemishes, dryness, dullness, sensitivity, irritation) starts on the inside? When your gut isn’t happy, it manifests in your skin. I take this supplement every day to help improve my skin, my gut, and boost my immunity. Camu Camu contains the highest natural source of vitamin c so it’s especially great for when you’re sick or don’t want to get sick!
- ARMRA (save 15% with this code: JOELLENWOODS)- I started taking this colostrum supplement because I kept seeing how amazing it was. Here’s what their website says it can do: “Strengthen your skin, lung, and gut barriers, support your microbiome, and activate cellular health and performance to revitalize whole body health with every satisfying sip.” I was expecting to feel healthier but I wasn’t expecting my lashes to grow!! I really love this one!
- I70 The Beauty Molecule– When I take this, I notice my skin is glowier and bouncier and it looks healthier and rosier. Skincare starts on the inside!
- Electrolytes– I’m terrible about drinking water. But this electrolyte mix makes it easier for me to. It’s so tasty and it’s extremely healthy for you! No garbage ingredients. Pure goodness. Our whole family loves it. Mango, POG, and Pina Colada are my faves.
3. Started Dressing for the Body I Have, Not the Body I Want
No, putting a cute outfit on is not vain! It’s amazing what a cute outfit can do for your confidence! I learned my body shape and did a Color Analysis so I could learn what colors looked good on me. And it made all the difference! When you’re wearing clothes that flatter your figure and colors that bring out your best features, you literally shine!!
4. Started Taking Care of My Skin — and It Changed How I Felt About My Face
Wow…this one was a HUGE change!! I’ve always taken good care of my skin. Always. I’ve been religious about my morning and night skincare routine. But as I was nearing 40, the products I had been using just weren’t working the same. My skin was looking dull and lifeless. I was not aging gracefully!
So I started doing research and trying different products. And when I started using waterless skincare, my skin transformed! I got my glow back!
I learned that most skincare products on the market are made of 70%-90% water. That means that the products we’re putting on our face are: literally watered down, full of preservatives because having so much water in the products requires fillers so they can be shelf stable, and not allowing the active ingredients to give us results.
Waterless skincare is more potent, powerful, hydrating, and nourishing! It’s better for mature skin!
Along with using waterless beauty, I also started using a 4D Laser Light Mask regularly. I’ve used several red light therapy devices over the last few years and they’re all ok. But it wasn’t until I tired the JOVS 4D Laser Light Therapy Mask that I really started noticing a difference in my mature skin! My skin feels smoother and my pores loo healthier. I LOVE it!! I use the mask several times a week and it’s really helped my skin age gracefully.
See my JOVS before and after!
It’s an investment, but so worth it!! You can save $160 with this discount code: JOELLEN
I’ve also recently added an at-home microneedling treatment to my skincare routine. It’s a great addition to your skincare routine to help you age gracefully. I do it twice a month and have loved the results! Here are just some of the benefits doing these treatments can do for you:
- Help Stimulate Collagen Production
- Smoothe Skin Texture
- Better Product Absorption
- Softer Appearance of Fine Lines
- Glowy Skin
Save 10% with this discount code: JOELLEN
The key is to be intentional. Use products that are better and you’ll get better results. Be willing to put in the time, money, and effort to get healthier, glowier skin.
5. Started Talking to Myself the Way I’d Talk to a Friend
Do you realize the mean things you say to yourself? The little snide remarks we say in our mind that bring us down?? We would never speak that way to a friend! So why do we speak that way to ourselves??
I started being more intentional with the thoughts I told myself. I came up with a list of affirmations that help build me up instead of break me down. And it’s amazing how it changes how you see yourself.
Another thing that has helped with this is reading good books and listening to uplifting podcasts. Now, I don’t have all the time in the day to sit and read or listen to something. But I habit stack. When I eat breakfast and lunch, I read a few pages from a self development book. When I workout in my garage gym, I listen to a good podcast. I kill two birds with one stone and I’m fueling my body and mind at the same time!
Here are some great podcasts to listen to:
- The Ed Mylett Show
- Rewire Your Brain: The Peace & Positivity Podcast with Liz Bagwell
- The Lizzy Jensen ShowBig Conversations with Haley Hoffman Smith
- The Jamie Sea Show
- The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes
- Better than Happy with Jody Moore
- The Jamie Kern Lima Show
- The Mel Robbins Podcast
- The Mindest Mentor with Rob Dial
- On Purpose with Jay Shetty
- The Life Coach School Podcast
Here are some great books to read:
- Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo
- Personality Isn’t Permanent by Benjamin Hardy
- The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy
- The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth by John Maxwell
- Atomic Habits by James Clear
- Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown
- Better than Happy by Jody Moore
- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen R. Covey
- How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
- The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life – Before 8AM, Hal Elrod
- Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown PhD
- Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap…And Others Don’t by Jim Collins
- Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
How I Learned to Love My Body After 40
First, I had to make the decision that I wanted to change. If you want something bad enough, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse. For many years, I was making excuses as to why I didn’t have the time to exercise. I was lying to myself. I did have the time…I just wasn’t making the time because it wasn’t a priority. I was making lots of excuses! So as soon as I decided that becoming healthier and stronger was important to me, that I wanted to look and feel strong, that I wanted to age gracefully, that I wanted to look and feel my best in my 40s, that’s when I made the promise to myself and started showing up for myself everyday.
I started making it a habit to workout in the gym and walk 5-6 days a week. I went from maybe exercising 15 minutes a day to exercising an hour and 15 minutes! And I learned to love it! I know I feel better when I do!
We live in a world of instant gratification. We want what we want, when we want it. We’re used to Amazon same day delivery. We’re used to quick fixes. But your health and strength and body confidence takes time and effort. It takes daily consistent action that compounds over time. It takes patience.
I started my journey to better health and confidence 3 years ago. It’s taken a lot of time and consistency. It’s been a journey! And I’ve learned so much in the process! There is beauty in growth. There is beauty in the process. There is beauty in the effort. That’s where we learn the most!
I look back at 30ish year old JoEllen and the JoEllen today. And I almost don’t recognize her! She is stronger, more resilient, healthier, glowier, happier, lighter, fresher!
So the next time you think that caring about makeup, skincare, food, and exercise is vain…rethink it! God gave you a body and you only have one body to live your life in. How do you want to live your life? In pain, lack of energy, being self conscious when you look in the mirror? I don’t think that’s how God intends us to live our life. I know He wants us to love, respect, and nurture our bodies.
I’m so glad that I had a wake-up call in my 40s because I am LOVING life! And I want you to love your life too.
No, you don’t have to have the perfect body, be the perfect height or weight or have the perfect body measurements. But you can learn to love the body God gave you. You can learn to love it and be grateful for it. You can learn to cherish it. It’s never too late to change!
Frequently Asked Questions About Body Confidence After 40
- How do I build body confidence after 40? Building body confidence after 40 starts with shifting your focus from how your body looks to what your body can do. Practical steps include adding strength training to build physical and mental resilience, fueling your body with nourishing food, speaking to yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a close friend, and investing in a skincare and self-care routine that makes you feel cared for from the outside in. Confidence grows through action…every small act of taking care of your body sends a message to your mind that you are worth caring for.
- Why is body image so hard after 40? Body image often becomes more challenging after 40 because of a combination of hormonal changes, physical shifts like slower metabolism and changes in body composition, and years of accumulated comparison and self-criticism. Estrogen decline affects everything from skin texture to where the body stores fat, which can make women feel like strangers in their own bodies. Add social media’s unrealistic beauty standards to the mix and it’s no wonder so many women over 40 struggle to feel at home in their skin. The good news is that awareness is the first step and your 40s can also be the decade you finally make peace with your body.
- Is it normal to struggle with body image in your 40s? Absolutely…and far more women experience this than talk about it openly. The physical changes that come with perimenopause and menopause are real, and they often happen faster than women feel prepared for. Struggling with body image in your 40s doesn’t mean you’ve failed at self-love…it means you’re human, and your body is going through a genuine transition. What matters is not whether you struggle, but whether you choose to respond to that struggle with care and compassion rather than criticism and shame.
- What is the best exercise for body confidence after 40? Strength training is consistently one of the most confidence-building forms of exercise for women over 40 and not just because of how it changes the body’s appearance. Lifting weights builds genuine physical strength, supports bone density, improves posture, and creates a tangible, measurable sense of accomplishment that carries into everyday life. When you feel strong, you carry yourself differently. You take up space differently. That physical confidence translates directly into mental and emotional confidence in ways that cardio alone rarely does.
- How does skincare affect body confidence? Taking care of your skin is one of the most direct and immediate ways to improve how you feel about yourself because it sends a powerful signal to your mind that you are worth taking care of. When your skin looks and feels healthy, glowing, and cared for, you naturally feel more confident in your face and more willing to show up fully in your life. For women over 40, a skincare routine that actually works for mature skin can be genuinely transformative…not just cosmetically but emotionally. Feeling good in your skin is the foundation that everything else is built on.
- How do I stop comparing my body to others after 40? Comparison is one of the greatest confidence thieves and social media makes it almost constant. The most effective way to interrupt the comparison cycle is to redirect your attention from other people’s bodies to your own body’s specific story, capabilities, and needs. You can curate your social media feed to follow accounts that make you feel inspired rather than inadequate, journal about what your body has carried you through, and practice daily gratitude for specific things your body does rather than how it looks. Your body is not in competition with anyone else’s…it has its own beautiful, God-given purpose.
- Can your 40s actually be the best decade for body confidence? Yes…and not just theoretically. Many women report feeling more comfortable in their bodies in their 40s than at any earlier point in their lives, because the 40s often bring a shift in priorities. The exhausting pursuit of a “perfect” body starts to feel less important than feeling strong, healthy, and fully alive. When you stop trying to look a certain way and start trying to feel a certain way, everything changes. Your 40s can absolutely be the decade you finally make peace with your body and start treating it like the gift it actually is.
Your body has carried you through every hard thing you have ever faced. Every sleepless night, every season of grief, every mountain you thought you couldn’t climb…your body showed up. It kept going. It brought you here.
Body confidence after 40 isn’t about arriving at a perfect version of yourself. It’s about deciding to be a good steward of the body God gave you. To move it, nourish it, care for it, and speak kindly to it. Not because you’ve earned it. Not because it looks a certain way. But because it’s yours, it was given to you on purpose, and it deserves to be treated like the gift it is.
I spent too many years feeling fragile in my body. Too many years waiting to feel confident before I started taking care of it. And what I know now…after strength training, after choosing nourishment, after building a skincare routine that makes me feel genuinely glowing…is that the taking care came first. The confidence followed.
It will for you too.
If you want to watch me talk through this journey more personally, I’ve linked my YouTube video, How I Learned to Love My Body After 40, below. And if you’re ready to start taking care of your skin in a way that actually works for your mature skin, fill out my free skin questionnaire and I’ll personally build you a custom routine. Because when you feel good, you do good. And you deserve to feel really, really good.
Here are other blogposts that you might enjoy:
- My Summer Waterless Skincare Routine (Oliveda AM + PM Guide)
- Olive Rose Summer Makeup Look: Lightweight Glow for Hot Weather
- What’s the Difference Between Bronzer and Contour
- How to Apply Olive Rose Skin Tint (Without Settling Into Lines)
- Contour for Mature Faces: A Simple Guide
- Effortless & Elegant Spring Dresses for Women Over 40
- How to Apply Cream Blush for Women Over 40 (Using Olive Rose Blush Glow)
- Eyeshadow Tutorial for Beginners
About the Author
JoEllen is a licensed esthetician, certified makeup artist, and certified John Maxwell coach, speaker, and trainer. She works with women helping them look and feel confident. She loves teaching women simple beauty techniques so they can feel empowered to try it at home. Her motto is that when you look and feel good, you do good!
*This post contains affiliate links. If you choose to purchase an item featured in this post, I get a small portion from the sale. Thank you!
